Grieving for a Senior

In order to feel grief, family members don’t need to face the permanent loss of an older adult. While seniors themselves deal with their own unique challenges when it comes to aging, it’s okay that their families have their own.

It can be hard to face the reality that an important person in your life is getting older, especially because it makes you realize that they won’t live forever. You also have to witness drastic changes, as the senior’s health and mobility declines; or as they fight illnesses which can impact their memory of you and your relationship. If you provide care for a senior, this can only add to the challenges you will face.

In order to get through these problems as a family member or a family caregiver, you need to find support. And while you may want to share what you’re going through with the senior, it should be avoided because they are already burdened with their own problems and don’t need to deal with the feelings of guilt that this would inadvertently cause.

Instead, family members and caregivers trying to cope with their parents or other older relatives aging can seek help from a local support group that allows them to discuss their feelings with others who understand, but don’t have their own feelings formed about the situation. It’s also okay to talk to other family members about the issues you are mutually facing.

Now, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t communicate with a senior about aging at all; it’s important to provide support, understanding and discuss care decisions. However, the emphasis should be upon helping the senior through the aging process while coping with your own feelings separately.

Dr. Jake Harwood
Professor, University of Arizona

Earlier this year we lost my father after a long fight with a chronic illness. Before this unfortunate and devastating event that altered all of our lives, my parents were planning on spending the holidays at home on their own while I celebrated the season at my in-laws’. Without my dad to be with her, I was worried about my mom being at home alone so I offered to change my family’s plans and travel across the country to spend the holidays with her.

Surprisingly, my mom wouldn’t hear of it; she said as much as she loved and missed my father, she was going to learn to live as a single woman, holidays or no holidays. She said that she was taking the time to mourn, but that the best way for her to cope with the holidays would be to get on with life. She had been invited to a couple of holiday parties and dinners with friends that she was planning on attending, and also decided to volunteer with a local toy drive. I made her promise that if she was having a hard time, that she would attend a support group, at least to get her through the holidays. I’ve also made a point to keep my dad’s memory alive, both with her and my children; we laugh and smile over memories of seasons when we were all together.

Now, as I prepare to travel across the country, away from my own mother for the holidays; I know that she needs to get through the season in her own way, and if she has to do it by herself then I know it will only make her stronger.

There’s no denying that family caregivers have a tough job. Managing life with caregiving can be a difficult balance to attain. You may feel as though you are obligated to care for your aging loved one forever since you have committed to care for them for a time, however, sometimes it’s just better to let someone else take over. You need to consider a number of factors, relating to the health of the senior, your relationships and your lifestyle. Take a look at the following points below, to learn why caregivers step down and it if might be time for you to do the same.

Health

• The caregiver is beginning to feel under qualified in their caregiving duties, since the senior’s medical needs are growing
• The caregiver feels overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and is having problems keeping up with the demands; the senior may not be fed on a regular schedule, changed when required, or brought medications on time
• The overall condition of the household has declined since the caregiver started taking responsibility

Relationships

• The caregiver and care recipient have had problems with adjusting to their role changes. For example, an adult child providing care for a mother may find that her mother cannot accept that she is now under her daughter’s care.
• The relationship between caregiver and care recipient is becoming tense
• The caregiver may feel like he/she has lost the family relationship with the senior he/she once had; it could feel more like a business relationship than a family bond
• The caregiver’s relationship with other family members, like a spouse or children have been impacted negatively by the caregiving responsibilities

Lifestyle

• The caregiver can no longer find time for his/herself
• He/she has no opportunity to relieve stress or relax doing enjoyable activities
• The caregiver is unable to accomplish goals and dreams because of the overwhelming responsibilities
• The caregiver is becoming resentful or blames the senior for the drastic lifestyle changes

Home Instead Senior Care Austin - Providing the most trusted elder home health in America! Call us today at (512) 347-9207.

Prevalence of Elder Abuse

Unfortunately many seniors in Austin and the United States have been victimized by elder abuse. The abuse may be physical, emotional, or sexual and can include exploitation, abandonment and neglect.

The National Elder Abuse Incidence Study suggested that more than 500,000 to 1,000,000 Americans aged 60 and older are subject to elder abuse each year and 84% of these cases remain unreported. Often even seniors who are able to report the abuse they’re experiencing do not, either because they’re afraid of retaliation from their abuser; nervous that no one else will want to care for them; and often they are ashamed or feel like they are partially to blame.

Seniors who do choose to come forward have many resources that are available to them and their families. The Eldercare Locator and Administration on Aging can assist with finding people and organizations to seek justice for the senior; which may include setting them up with an ombudsman or legal council. Seniors who are experienced elder abuse can also benefit from attending relevant support groups that will help them understand that while others experience it too; they are not to blame.

Elder abuse is a prevalent issue in the senior community; seniors and their families need to take advantage of available resources and inform themselves so that abuse can be detected and rectified.

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

Home Instead Senior Care Austin - Providing the most trusted elder home health in America! Call us today at (512) 347-9207.

Let us help you keep mom and dad at home!

There are a variety of options available to senior citizens and figuring out which one is best for your parents will mean asking a range of questions about their medical, physical, and emotional needs. The four major categories out there for elderly assistance are:

1. Home Care- can be adapted to most levels of need. More seriously impaired adults can benefit from the services of adult day care, personal assistance, or health assistance. Home modification services, transport, and nutrition services (delivered meal programs) are available for more active adults who prefer to stay at home. To meet the emotional needs of seniors who still live at home, there are also telephone reassurance services which schedule calls on a daily or weekly basis. Senior centers are also great resources giving seniors access to communities.

2. Independent Living Communities- are best suited to more active senior citizens. These communities generally provide meals, activities, house-keeping.  Adults in these communities are generally able to live alone but want the security and comfort of readily available transportation, meals and activities.

3. Assisted Living- is available for seniors who require more involved services such as personal care or medication taking in addition to basic homecare needs.Available as a single home shared by several residents, apartment-like complexes, or more institutional settings, these centers come in a variety of forms to suit specific needs.

4. Nursing Homes- provides medical attention and is best suited to those with disabilities or chronic medical conditions which require monitoring. 

Home Instead Senior Care Austin - Providing the most trusted elder home health in America! Call us today at (512) 347-9207.

Let us help you keep mom and dad at home!

Knowledge for Caregivers: Senior Changes

As an organization that specializes in senior care, we know that the loss of independence older adults face can be one of the greatest emotional struggles of their long lives. As family members and caregivers, it is our responsibility to understand why losing independence can be so difficult for seniors. We also need to do our best to be supportive and empathetic during the process to make the changes as easy on them as possible.

Why Loss of Independence is Challenging

• Seniors are force to face the realities that they are aging
• Seniors may be incapable of completing routine tasks without assistance
• Seniors may need to turn to family members to monitor their finances, which results in a loss of decision-making control
• Seniors may be forced to move from the homes that contain family memories
• Seniors may no longer be able to get around on their own, based on limitations of physical mobility or inability to drive a car
• Seniors may be resentful of the fact that they need assistance with dressing and bathing
• Seniors may be concerned about their own physical and mental health
• Seniors may become preoccupied with the perceived burden they are placing on family caregivers
• Seniors may face financial strain by hiring a caregiver or paying for residence in an assisted living facility

Home Instead Senior Care in Austin helps families cope with Caregiver Stress. Please call us at 512-347-9207 when seeking non-medical, companionship, and professional caregvers in Austin.

Caregiver Stress-Stress and spousal caregiving

Naturally, you wouldn’t think twice about caring for your partner now that they are in a situation where there’s a growing need for your assistance. Whether it is a chronic health problem, issues with mobility or decreased cognitive function, your support will likely be necessary.

Sometimes caring for a spouse can leave the family caregiver feeling overwhelmed and stressed. This can be compounded if the caregiver is also taking over responsibilities that were once handled solely by their ailing spouse, from cooking and doing laundry, to balancing the checkbook and heading up the financial decisions.

Signs that Spousal Caregiving May Be Becoming Too Risky for You:

* Missing or delaying your own doctor appointments

* Ignoring your own health problems or symptoms

* Not eating a healthy diet

* Overusing tobacco and alcohol 

* Giving up exercise habits 

* Losing sleep

* Losing connections with friends 

* Bottling up feelings of anger and frustration and then being surprised by angry, even violent, outbursts directed at your spouse, other family members, co-workers - even strangers

* Feeling sad, down, depressed or hopeless

* Loss of energy

* Lacking interest in things that used to give you pleasure

* Feeling resentful toward your spouse

* Blaming your spouse for the situation

* Feeling that people ask more of you than they should

* Feeling like caregiving has affected family relationships in a negative way

* Feeling annoyed by other family members who don’t help out or who criticize your care

Reaching out and asking for help is a very healthy thing to do if you are feeling overwhelmed. Look into hiring a part time caregiver to come in and help. Take back “you” again. It’s important.

Home Instead Senior Care Austin gives respite to caregiver.

Caregiver Physical Stress in Austin.

It’s one thing to look at yourself and say, “Okay, I am really stressed out!” But, when you start to feel the signs of stress physically, it is best to deal with it, and get medical help if needed.

You might be wondering, what IS physical stress? Well, here are some signs that can let you know if you are experiencing it:

Physical Signs of Caregiver Stress:

* Disturbed Sleep
* Back, shoulder or neck pain, muscle tension
* Headaches
* Stomach/digestive problems (upset or acid stomach, cramps, heartburn, gas, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation, diarrhea)
* Weight fluctuation (gain or loss)
* Loss of hair
* Fatigue
* High blood pressure, irregular heart beat, palpitations
* Chest pain
* Perspiration
* Skin disorders (hives, eczema, psoriasis, tics, itching)
* Periodontal disease, jaw pain
* Reproductive problems/infertility
* Weakened immune system suppression: more colds, flu, infections
* Sexual dysfunction/lack of libido

If you are experiencing some of the signs listed above, consider talking with a healthcare professional who can help you to evaluate your situation. Recognizing stress is the first step to taking care of the problem, and taking care of you. Your physical health is number one priority when caring for a loved one.

HELP WITH ALZHEIMER’S CARE in AUSTIN - Call (512) 347-9207.

As a geriatric nurse, I have seen first hand how much stress can be incurred when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease, especially when 87% are family caregivers who have families, careers, and other responsibilities. With such a large number of people in United States and North America (approximately 5 million across the continent), it is no surprise that these caregivers need help.

Services, such as those provided by Home Instead Senior Care can fill in the gaps and give family caregivers a break, or even provide full-time caregiving services. HISC provides non-medical in-home services from well-trained and educated CAREGivers; they undergo a multi-faceted safety and caregiving education program which features a progressive curriculum.

 They are trained and tested on case studies, senior illness information, tips for coping with stress and learn stimulating activities for seniors and nutritional recipes. There are also training programs specifically geared towards Alzheimer’s care, so individuals can ensure that their loved ones are safe, happy and healthy in their absence.

The “Financial Steps for Caregivers: What you need to know about money and retirement, ”According to the booklet, caregiving often results in financial costs for the caregiver, some of which include decisions to work part-time; decline a promotion requiring longer hours; or pass up a training opportunity requiring travel. To download the booklet http://www.aoa.gov/prof/aoaprog/caregiver/caregiver.asp.

Other more subtle consequences include lost opportunities for compounded returns on 401(k) matching contributions, a reduction in savings and investments, or an inability to finance home improvements that could increase the resale value of a residence.  One study from the National Center on Women & Aging found that caregivers lose $659,130 over a lifetime in reduced salary and retirement benefits.

There may be options that could keep your daughter from giving up her career.  If you have other family members, discuss with them how they might help.  Oftentimes the caregiving job falls to one adult child when others could shoulder some of the responsibility.

Also consider a company like Home Instead Senior Care Austin.  Our CAREGivers could provide respite care for your daughter while making sure all your needs are met.  Hours are flexible, too – from three hours a week to 24 hours a day.  If you just need a little help, that’s all that you will have to budget for your care.  Not only will you be helping your daughter, but you’ll be making new friends as well.

For more information about Home Instead Senior Care call 512-347-9207.